Thursday, October 27, 2011

His Ex Girlfriend/Stalker

I am absolutely sure that Wolfy is my soul mate.  I just know it.  And he was my first love.  But I wasn't his.  (Or so he said. I wasn't convinced he knew love from infatuation at the time) When we were in high school, I asked him about his girlfriend before me.  I only knew of the rumors that were said about her. She cheated on Wolfy, so I thought there had to be some truth to the rumors.  I asked him how could he not see what kind of girl she was, and he said, "He was in love."  I wanted to puke.  What do you mean you were in love? With her!  I'm not your first love?  I've always hated that he said that he was in love with her.  But I got the guy, so I got over it.  

Unfortunately his ex didn't.  She became our biggest fan/stalker.   Stalker loathed me.  She had good friends in my classes that I think would report back to her on whether I was doing well in my classes...hello I was a nerd.  Of course I was doing well.  She had friends on my volleyball team to report to her if I sucked or not.  They reported from the bench while I was on the court.  Sorry no luck there Stalker.  So she resorted to trying to be the nice girl.  

One weekend at a Human Relations/Tolerance Camp we were both attending, she ended up in my group.  It was about 30 students and a couple of counselors having a discussion about race and stereotypes.  I guess she took it as an open forum to single me out.  She asked if we could be friends, and she'd really like to get to know me better.  I was horrified, and pissed at the same time.  I thought, she could have just came up to me and told me the same thing.  She didn't have to announce it to the group!  Unfortunately, I had to play along with her little game now that the whole group wanted us to be BFF's.  So I tried and it was awkward, but I survived.   I even felt good by the end of the weekend like I had actually accomplished something.  

After the Camp weekend I was excited to tell Wolfy of the new developments.  He had graduated already so I was waiting to meet up with him after school.  As soon as I saw him, I started spewing all the details of the camp, and the Stalker's attempt at being friends.  But I had survived and we were on good terms now.  Wolfy looked at me strange after my story.  

He asked me, "Are you sure?".  

I was confused.  "What do you mean, am I sure?  Yes, your ex and I are ok now."

You know that look on people's faces when you know they are about to tell you something you don't want to hear.  He had that look. 

Wolfy said, "Because on my way in here, I saw my ex.  She stopped me and pulled me aside.  She told me that you were not right for me, and that I should break up with you and take her back."

I was literally shocked.  But why? Why was I so shocked?  I knew this was the kind of person she was.  

"What the hell!  Just now?  Ugh, I should have known better.  Stupid me for even thinking she could change."  

After that I knew I could never trust her again. 

Fast forward to my first year in college.  I was in another state going to school and playing volleyball while Wolfy was still in our hometown.  He calls me one day and told me that Stalker ex showed up to his house out of the blue.

"What! Why? What did she want?"

Wolfy explains, "My Mom answered the door.  She saw her standing there with a baby in her arms."

"Baby? She had a baby?"

"I guess so.  My Mom thought nothing of it and asked her what was the baby's name.  She said Stalker named the baby after me!"

"She WHAT!!"  Yes, you read that right.  Stalker named her first baby, from another guy, after my boyfriend.

Wolfy continues, "My Mom asked her to wait and she came storming to the back and went off on me.  Yelled at me about this ex girlfriend at the door with a baby named after me.  She even asked me if the baby was mine.  I told her hell no, we never even had sex.  Ugh, it was so embarrassing to have to tell that to my Mom."  

I was livid.  Even worse I couldn't do much from another state.  I wanted to call my sisters and tell them to hunt this psycho down, but what good was that going to do.  They couldn't change a baby's name.  Wow, I never thought she would do something that crazy.  I didn't think she would ever show up in our lives again since high school was over.  Well, that was wishful thinking.  

Fast forward even more, to when Wolfy and I had been married 6 years with our first child and another on the way.  There was this little thing called Myspace that just became popular.  Basically a stalkers wonderland.  Wolfy had a Myspace not even a month and I see the Stalker ex on his friends list.  Oh, Wolfy heard it from me.  I told him to delete her crazy ass too.  But being your typical clueless man, he thought it was harmless.  So I became the stalker.  I hated it, but I wasn't going to just let her off that easy.  I went to her Myspace page and found nothing exciting or strange.  Until I looked at her photos.  She had an album dedicated to Wolfy, titled, "The reason why I know there are still good men out there".  She had taken pictures from Wolfy's photo albums and put them into her album.  Conveniently all the pictures of him alone, without his wife and kid.  

That was it!  I didn't care what Wolfy had to say, I told him to delete her, block her, whatever he needed to do.  I didn't want him having anything to do with her.  She had no boundaries.  

So, 12 years of marriage and five kids later, she is nothing but a distant memory, and a character in this blog post.  But, I think I don't trust women as much as I would like because of her.  But just as I was with the Stalker in high school, I am still always optimistic of the possibilities of meeting good honest women.  And I don't mind that Wolfy says I wasn't his first love.  As long as I'm his LAST.  

Saturday, October 22, 2011


In our high school years Wolfy (the hubby) and I were oblivious of each other for two years. We had our own crowds and never ran into each other.  That's normal for high school.  But to suddenly start dating, after never acknowledging each other's existence on campus, was a very shocking matter in the high school gossip circles.  The expressions of surprise and disbelief were all aimed at me, and how did I manage to land HIM?  Even more shocking, to myself, because the first time I mustered up the courage to talk to Wolfy, I had another boyfriend.

My poor Ex never saw it coming.  The Ex and I were all wrong for each other.  He lived in a different city so we never saw each other.  When I did see him he was usually drunk and I could tell that he wanted things that I was NOT going to give him.  So I stopped calling him.  That was really mean on my part, I know that, but I just didn't want to argue with him.

In the process of trying to ignore the Ex, I started to notice Wolfy more.  I even caught myself in stalker like activity.  I would go out of my way to walk in the hallways I knew he would be in. I would wait in areas I knew he would be passing through.  It was like I was possessed by this boy crazy girl I'd never met and didn't like, but I couldn't stop myself.  I just wanted to see him and I wanted him to see me.  So the first time we talked was awkward.  He was totally shocked I even stopped to speak to him and I was screaming from the inside while trying to look cool and nonchalant like I hadn't just been following him across campus.  The second time we talked he was not as surprised, but still awkward.  I never thought he would come out and ask me if I had a boyfriend!  In a split second I thought say NO, but even then, I couldn't bring myself to lie to him.  Who was this boy and why was I so concerned about being honest with him? So I told him yes.  But the way I said it must have clued him into my situation with the Ex because he didn't seem disappointed.  So we met up more often and talked a lot. And I really liked him.  More than I had ever liked any other boy before.   A couple encounters, turned into meeting everyday for lunch.  Then we started meeting together during our sports periods, our last class of the day, because we were both in the off season.  

One day on my way to last period, I recognized a girl that didn't belong at our school.  She didn't belong there because she was the Ex's cousin and they went to the same school.  My face dropped, my eyes widened, and I froze in place.  I wanted to scream when she had said that the Ex was running around campus looking for me.  (What I forgot to mention was that I hadn't officially broken things off with him.)  I was furious, but I had to think fast.  I was suppose to be meeting Wolfy in a couple of minutes, and how the hell was I going to keep him from running into the Ex. Ugh I was frantic. Ex's cousin kept asking me what's going on? I thought, how the hell was I suppose to know, and why did you bring him here? But I had to focus.  I hailed down one of my friends, who also knew Wolfy well, and filled her in.  She jumped into action and went looking for Wolfy to keep him busy.  Right then I saw him.  The Ex.  He looked like a crazy person, then suddenly changed up his whole facade and smiled at me.  I thought, please let him be sober.  It was totally awkward talking to him.  The whole time I was thinking of Wolfy and trying to get the Ex to leave.  But he walked towards the boys weight room. NO! Anywhere but there.  I wanted to summon the Football player in me and tackle him.  I knew that Wolfy was usually in the boys weight room during last period.  Who was I kidding, I was not going to be able to stop the Ex when he was like that.  It was weird but the Ex seemed to be looking for someone, I just did not know how he knew.  I hadn't even told anyone about Wolfy and I.  Wolfy and I were not officially dating, but we were definitely spending a lot of time together.  More time than I was spending with the Ex.  

So I followed the Ex to the weight room.  In the distance, down the large black top playard,  I saw Wolfy walking towards the weight room and my heart beat so hard it just about cracked a rib.  I turned and followed the Ex quietly while freaking out inside.  When he was finally in the weight room I rushed out to desperately signal to my friend, "NOT YET!"  In the distance I could see the confusion in Wolfy's face and I swore to myself that I would finally break it off with the Ex.  I hated doing that to Wolfy.  I had to tell him what was going on.  How was he going to take it?  I didn't want to hurt him.  I took the walk of shame towards Wolfy and told him that my "boyfriend" was there.  I wasn't prepared for Wolfy's temper.  The look on his face I'd never seen before, but I knew he was mad.  I barely heard him say "what!" and he was almost running towards the weight room.  My friends and I had to grab both his arms to stop him.  Ugh, I felt horrible.  I asked Wolfy to please let me deal with this and I promised that he would never come back here again. 

When I finally convinced the Ex to leave campus, we drove to my house.  We sat on the hood of his car in awkward silence for a while.  But I finally just broke up with him.  He was very angry so I left knowing what a temper he had and how he could get.  But it wouldn't be the last I heard from him.  Later that night the Ex had called me from a payphone booth, drunk of course.  He was really emotional, but I wasn't budging from my decision.  It just made him more angry.  Then over the phone I hear a loud crashing sound.  I screamed into the phone, "Hello, hello! What happened! What's going on?"  The voice on other line wasn't the Ex anymore.  It was his cousin again.  She said he shattered the glass surrounding the phone booth.  She pleaded with me to reconsider, but I couldn't.  What he had done was proof enough that I did not want to be with him.  

When I think back to that day, I know I could have handled the Ex in a better manner.  But what  I remember most is how Wolfy reacted.  Like a jealous boyfriend.  But he wasn't my boyfriend....not yet. 

At times I was very bold when it came to Wolfy.  We weren't officially dating still when Valentine's Day came rolling around.  But I wanted him to know I was thinking of him.  So I grabbed one of the heart lollipops I had, walked towards Wolfy and his cousin standing near his locker, and slipped the lollipop right into the back pocket of his jeans and kept walking. LOL! I mean, who was I?  I don'k know.  He made me do things I NEVER thought I would do for a boy.   Anyway, so I looked back to see if he got it, and he was already unwrapping it and he winked at me.  He didn't even know what that did to me.  I turned back around to hide the ridiculous smile I had on my face.  I could hear the excited teasing and laughter from Wolfy and his cousin as I walked away.