Les Miserables 2012

All I need to say about this movie is, GO SEE IT! It is worth it, and hands down the best movie I have EVER seen.  Yes I did say "Best Movie I've Ever Seen".  I realize that is a huge statement, but I'm okay with it.  Even if I didn't love musicals I would have loved this movie for the story, the acting, and the music.  If you watch anything new to end the year, watch Les Miserables the Movie Musical.  

The Invitation - Oriah

The Invitation ~ Oriah Mountain Dreamer
	It doesn't interest me what you do for a living I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing. It doesn't interest me how old you are I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love for your dreams for the adventure of being alive. It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon... I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain. I want to know if you can sit with pain mine or your own without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it. I want to know if you can be with joy mine or your own if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful be realistic to remember the limitations of being human. It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy. I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty every day. And if you can source your own life from its presence. I want to know if you can live with failure yours and mine and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes." It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after a night of grief and despair weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children. It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back. It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments. © 1995 by Oriah House, From "Dreams Of Desire" Published by Mountain Dreaming, 300 Coxwell Avenue, Box 22546, Toronto, Ontario, Canada  from- http://www.inspirationpeak.com/poetry/theinvitation.html

This is My Happy Place

Aahh, this is my happy place.  Reading Blogs that I love, fresh coffee in the mug, and even a homemade oatmeal cookie.  I miss this.  

I'm a complex person.  I have more than just one side to me.  I love being a mother and a homemaker.  But the athlete in me needs some time to play too.  No, I'm not actually playing volleyball anymore, but I coach.  So I've been off the Blog for months now.  My season is over, so I get time to do the little things.  Bust mostly I've missed baking, blogging, and reading.  I've been doing a lot of reading, just not any of the hoards of books I have stacked up in my bookcase and my closet.  I appreciate these little things much more when I haven't had the time or energy to do them.  

But I won't have the time for long.  I'm coaching another season this coming January.  I was a bit scared to take on boys team, and to take on another season of busy-ness in my home.  Especially after dropping the ball with some of the things I was suppose to remember to do for my kids. That was a low point for me.  My kids are first and foremost my priority.  So when I forgot to sign my kids up for free tutoring because I missed the deadline. I then proceeded to sit in my car and cry.  

The day before I had just been offered a coaching position and I was on cloud nine.  But I dropped down pretty quick when I realized I am slacking off in the Mommy department.  I even contemplated NOT taking the job at all.  I was making all kinds of excuses to stay home and do the easy thing.  Just be a stay at home mom.  But, I realized it was my fear talking.  And a little bit of laziness too.  This coming season will require a lot more out of me.  Better organization in the dinner department, homework with the kids, and house cleaning duties.  Not to mention potty training the twins.  And none of this includes the time I have to put in for volleyball.  Planning practice, actual practice, and admin duties.  This scares me.  I'm not the type of person who likes being busy.  I'm naturally chill and laid back, so this scares me.  

But...

My two older kids love me coaching.  They come to my practices and games and they love it.  They meet my team and they love it.  They hit the balls over the net and they have a ball.  They watch me coach and just smile.  

I'm scared.  I don't want to be this busy Mom that drops the ball on her kids.  But I also love it when my daughter sees me doing something that I love.  I want my son to see me speaking in front of groups of people and know that someday he can do the same without being so nervous.  I want them to hear me yelling at my team "Don't give up!" and know that I don't just say these things to them.  But mostly I want them to be proud of me.  

The thing is, at this age, my kids are always proud of me.  So, I'll enjoy it while it lasts.  Teenage years have not invaded my home yet.  Wish me luck, and as always prayers are always appreciated. 

Sleep escapes me...

Another Youtube night.  And No, if you're wondering, I have no life.  And I'm really okay with that.  

Meet Melanie a stay at home mum from somewhere in the UK. This is her audition for XFactor UK 2012.  When I watched this I thought of all the Mothers out there.  The kind that are willing to sacrifice everything for their children.  Even if it meant putting a God given talent on the back burner.  Because when we have children, nothing in the world seems more important than living for them. Check out what Melanie has been hiding. 

Coach John Wooden is my coaching idol.  He is everything I ever want to be as a coach.  Not because of his success but for the kind of man he was.  Hands down the best coach EVER, in my opinion. 

If you know who Joel Osteen is you know that people either like him or they think he is absolutely cookoo.  I actually think both.  I like his message most of the time, but I do think he's a little weird. If you are married, and have some time, you should listen to this really long excerpt (28 min audio only) from one of his sermons on love between a husband and wife.  It's funny, awkward, and a little controversial(sex talk from a Pastor lol).  I don't agree with all of it, but I do have to admit it gave me a lot to think about. 

 

My Sexy Man Reader Husband

It's finally here! The book trailer to When Water Burns.  The second book in the Telesa Trilogy by Lani Wendt Young.  A big O for Owesome to Jordan Kwan! I love it.  I can't stop watching it. Yes, I've already read the book, but I still love how the trailer will suck in new readers.  Including my husband, Wolfy.

Yup my hubby is reading Telesa the first book.  He's almost done.  I stopped bugging him about his promise to give the book a chance earlier this year.  He said it was hard to constantly read about another man's abs and not be turned off to the book. hahaha Which I understood, but I still wanted him to read it.  So I don't know what happened but he picked up the book again last night and almost finished it.  If he hadn't had to go to sleep for work he would have finished it.  

But before he slept we just laid in bed talking about Daniel, Jason, Leila, and the sisterhood.  

Wolfy- I'm almost done! 
Me- Really, what part are you on?

Wolfy- Leila just moved out of Nafanua's house. Man I have a bad feeling. I hope nothing happens to her Aunt and uncle.  
Me- Ooh it's getting good now huh.

Wolfy- Yea, it's a really good story.  Man I feel bad for Daniel. I don't like that Jason dude.
Me- Aww but I kind of like Jason

Wolfy- Heck no! I feel Bad for Daniel. He loves her so much but just hasn't really said it. Now this Jason guy? (shakes his head) I know how Daniel feels. 
Me- 0_0  Oh. Yea you're right Babe (was all I could manage) 

Sorry ladies this one is MINE!

My husband has never been more sexier to me than at that moment. When he's reading a book that I love just for me.  And then he even wants to talk to me about it.  If I wasn't married to this man already, I would be eloping with him as soon as I could. LOL 

How awesome is my Wolfy! 

50 shades of ...No Thank You

My random ranting during my reading of the first book of the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy.
BIG TIME SPOILER ALERTS!


Americans don't say "cinemas" we go to the movies.

Who lives in the Pacific Northwest and hates coffee?! 

Drunk dialing. hehe Whoa, Christian is cookoo!

Red Room of Pain - Not my cup of Twinings tea

Ironic that his name is "Christian"


Christian Grey is a sick man with too much money.  
Control Freak, Sex Addict, Kinky freak! 
More like 80 shades of effed up. 


Did there really have to be a whole chapter dedicated to the submissive contract? I didn't even read it.  
Skipping over until the contract is done.

Ana's inner goddess/devil vs. her subconscious was really annoying. Inner goddess dialogue and updates start getting unnecessary and then completely annoying. No use for them

Twilight regurgitation of "do I dazzle you" dialogue 

So many women swooning over this man.  In reality wouldn't their relationship be considered an abusive relationship? Christian wanting Ana to be submissive, using sex to distract her from her real feelings, unnecessary gifts, and speaking to her so disrespectfully. 
His mood swings. 
Anna is scared of him when he's angry.  
All this "you are mine" possessive language. Okay Smeagol she's your Precious, we get it. 
As soon as sex is over it's like he's done with a business transaction. 
And obviously his need to punish her with a hiding/spanking if she angered him.
Swoon?  I think Not! 

Too much Holy Cow! Holy Shit! Holy (fill in the blank) every other paragraph almost.

And yet somebody please tell the author to put the Thesaurus down!

I just can't get over how Christian is so demeaning!

Ana knows in her head and in her heart that she shouldn't be with him, but she folds so easily. So weak!

Christian is like a sex robot. "I'm going to f*** you now." (robotic voice)

I keep thinking "what an A hole" when Christian is talking in the Red Room for the first time w/ Ana.
I get the heebie geebies when she describes the way he looks at her.  Creepy Creeperson!

"Perchance to dream"?  Does the author throw those lines in as an inside joke or something?  A line from hamlet in the middle of a Red Room convo after sex.  Strange. 
Rolling my eyes (oops Christian doesn't like that) Whatever!
Go Flog yourself Christian.

Christian - Future Wife Beater

Every time Christian comments on her beautiful skin I can't help but to think of Silence of the Lambs and the Skin suit.  Ew Ew Ew!!

I know the author is British and the character Ana is a fan of British Literature but... "prevailed upon". Come on who speaks like that anymore? Maybe the Royal family I guess. 

Talk about emotional roller coaster. More like emotional rocket ride. Blast off... then the engine fails.  Then it starts up again... just to fail again. Ugh! I catch myself thinking aww that was sweet of Christian, then he says something completely vulgar. ugh buzz kill.  
Then he does something and I think aww see he has a heart, well I guess a heart of steel more like it. 
Come on I think he does love her, oh no wait he just wants to F*** her brains out. How romantic.

Wow King Stalker this guy.

Well that was gross. Period sex...eek!

Okay so he was a crack baby, or his mom was a crack whore. I still don't really feel sorry for him.

Oh no she's asking for the full throttle in the Red Room. Don't do it! 

I told you so! Dummy

Finally Ana tells him off! Leave him girl, you better leave his crazy ass! 

I don't like the fact that I didn't want Ana to be with Christian. Why am I reading this if I'm hoping for the couple to break up?  Depressing. 



Things I did like.

Taylor - So loyal
Kate - Ana should have listened to Kate!
Grace - Christian's mother

I love their email exchanges when Ana is in Georgia.

I love Ana's Dad Ray. I adore her Mother Carla!

Oh well if you can't guess by now I didn't enjoy the book.  Thankfully I convinced my cousin to just give me a synopsis of the rest of the books so I don't have to waste my time reading them. No big deal. Good for what it is, 80% humping, 10% Submissive contracts and negotiations, 10% story. 

Best Efforts

I tell this to my kids all the time...

If you are going to do something, ALWAYS and ONLY give it your BEST effort.
Actually I tell my Volleyball players the same thing.  If you are going to show up, you better show up and give me 100%.

I'm a Coach, so it is not in me to say I don't mind losing.  Because I absolutely hate it!  But if it's one thing I hate more than losing, is losing because we didn't give our best effort.  I believe that if my players play to the best of their abilities and then some, and still lose, then we lost to the better team.  No shame in that at all.  

Every time the Olympics come around I am reminded why I love sports.  Not so much by the big Goliath champion gold medal winners, but by the little unknown countries who SHOW UP and give it their best for their countries. 

Like Maureen Tuimalealiifano of Team Samoa.  She competed in the individual Women's Archery event in London.  After the preliminary ranking round Maureen was ranked #63 out of 64.  Which meant that her first opponent would be in the higher ranking countries.  And who does she get? The archer from South Korea who is ranked #2.  But #1 ranking was also from South Korea.  The same South Korean team of archers that won the Gold medal just a couple of days before.   (And every year before that since the event was introduced into the summer Olympics)  

Even though she was defeated I respect her so much for just showing up and giving an olympic effort for our little island nation.  I am also immensely proud of how she carried herself and how she just always looked so happy and honored to be at the Games. 

Check her out channeling her inner Katniss Everdeen. ;) 

Thank You Team Samoa Facebook page for providing pictures of this event! 

And what about Eric Moussambani dubbed "Eric the Eel" of the 2000 Sydney Olympics.  Representing Equitorial Guinea in a swimming heat of only 3 swimmers.  The other two swimmers were disqualified due to false starts, so Eric is left to complete the heat alone.  Just him.  Eight lanes and he was the only swimmer in the pool.  He struggled to finish since he had never before seen an Olympic sized pool before that day, and he had just learned some techniques from the American swim team just two days before.  But he showed up and he finished. In the record books he is listed as the winner of his first and only Olympic swim race.  

original story from cnn 

 In 1992, while watching the Barcelona Olympic track races, 

I distinctly remember bawling my eyes out when I was watching this race live on television.  Derek Redmond of Great Britain tore his hamstring before he could finish his 400 meter race.  I can't imagine the feelings he was going through, but he got up and started hopping his way towards the finish line.  And then his father comes from the stands and helps his son in his emotional finish of the race that had already ended.  This moment in the Olympics was used by the Olympic Committee and Visa as an example of the Olympic spirit, and for Nike in their series of Courage ads.   

My sister asked me who won the gold in the last Olympics for Women's Volleyball. I couldn't even tell her.  In the end I remember the little people and their stories.  I remember the losers and their Olympic spirit.  Hopefully my kids understand what I mean one day.  "Oh that's why Mom always told us to always do our best."  Because nothing of quality ever comes from giving a half ass effort. 

Don't judge my knowledge by my fitness

As a mother of five and a coach, I get the looks all the time. You know those looks like, "She's the coach? But she doesn't look like a coach?"  What the hell does that have to do with what I know about volleyball?  I absolutely love the game, I played the game for years, and I love learning even more about coaching everyday.  Just because I don't look like a fitness junkie doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about.  It means I've had five kids and I put them first and unfortunately don't have all the time in the world to work out everyday.  

Yup that's the skinny me. Oh how I wish I could still be that fit again. But that was ages ago.  I'm a mother now, and I'm not obsessed with trying to get back to that size because that's just not me anymore.  I have more important things to worry about.  And yes I desperately need to work out more often, but I don't let it consume me.  Okay so I bake too much too.  I just have to accept it for now and try to find the time to get healthy and not worry so much about being skinny. 

That's me now. Chubby face and all. And I couldn't find a full body picture because I don't like taking them and I'm usually hiding behind my kids on purpose. hehe Nope I don't look like an athletic coach AT ALL. But just shut up, wait and see. And suck it when you realize that the shape of my body has nothing to do with my knowledge of the game.  

Peace out! 

Move over Ezra Taylor, you are not my Daniel.

This is Ezra Taylor, as if most of us Telesa fans didn't already know. But if you don't know what Telesa is, or who Ezra Taylor is...Helloooo! Where ya been? Get with the program and read the first two books of the Telesa Trilogy by Lani Wendt Young!(click on Telesa for the link)


When I first saw this photo before I read Telesa The Covenant Keeper, I thought wow this dude is cute! But for some reason when I read through the book the first time I just never really pictured Ezra as Daniel.  I don't know what happened.  Daniel in my head was never Ezra.  Same thing with my sister who just finished reading Telesa, and When Water Burns.  But she said Ezra is not cute. WHAAATT! Back it up, hold up, check your makas (eyes) girlfriend!! One thing he is not is ugly. hahaha He's just not my Daniel, doesn't mean he isn't handsome. I'm not blind sheesh!


If you haven't heard I am a fan of Kane Thompson of Manu Samoa and Chiefs.  And by fan I mean stalker. ha! j/k But he's not my Daniel either. I just like looking at him.  And I wanted to upload photos of him for no reason.
But he happens to be on the same rugby union team as...

My Daniel who is more like this beautiful creature Richard Kahui.

Yes yes, he's not even Samoan or Tongan.  I believe he's Maori and European but not sure.  Whatever it's my imagination I can make him whatever I want.  So he's my Daniel Tahi.  


I watched this video on youtube a while back and that sort of sealed the deal for me.  If it's one thing women love is man that can make them laugh.(at least for me it is) And I seriously almost peed my pants.  

Oh my gosh, I was dying when they started singing Celine Dion! 
Anyway, Ezra is the official face of Daniel, but not when I read Telesa.  


Off to read When Water Burns...Again. Happy reading! 

Confessions of a Cry Baby

I should change my Blog title to "Diary of a Cry Baby".  Geez I'm so darn emotional lately it's sickening even to myself.  Okay let me see, last month I cried in a grocery store.  That was a new one for me.  Fast forward to today I cried in the waiting room of car repair shop.  There are no boundaries to my tears.  Ugh, I hate that I can't control it.  I have literally, for as long as I can remember, tried and tried again to control my emotions so that I'm not tearing up at every little sob story, elderly couple, or sad movie.  But I just can't.  I CAN'T!  Okay so I sound like a weirdo with the whole crying at the auto repair shop.  So here is what happened.

I woke up early to get to the auto repair shop so that I wouldn't have to wait too long for a simple oil change.  But I stayed up too late, as usual, and had to drag myself out of bed.  I got to the shop a little later than I wanted, and ended up having to wait for customers who arrived before me.  I didn't mind though because I packed my book to read just in case.  

The book, The Rescue, by Nicholas Sparks.  Strange how I started reading this book.  My son Coby, who has language delay and is technically diagnosed as "at risk for Autism", likes to mess up my books on my book shelf.  One day after Coby had thrown down all my books from my shelf I picked up the book, The Rescue, and started to read.  And what is the story about?  A Mother and her son with language delays, like my son.  Right away, I was pulled in just from her experiences with trying to find a diagnosis for her son and why he wasn't talking.  So anyway, I felt like I was meant to read this story.  

So after a sleep deprived night, I'm waiting at the auto repair shop, reading my book.  The beginning of the book starts out with the Mother getting in to a car crash, and her son wanders away from the scene of the crash.  Right away she is freaking out especially because she knows that she can call his name to high heaven, but he wouldn't answer back.  Long story short, small town heroes come to the rescue and search for hours for her son.  Finally one of the rescuers finds her son. And the boy who doesn't talk, looks at the man, and says "Hewwo"(hello).  He runs up to the man and wraps his arms around the man's neck.  The man so overcome by exhaustion and the joy of finding the boy, tears up as he held the little boy.  

And that did it.  A lost, special needs boy, found by a local hero, and says "Hewwo" like my son Coby says "Hewwo" and I was fighting back tears.  There were sounds of metal being cut, and tires being removed, and engines revving up coming from the garage. And there I was in the middle of all that crying.  I turned my head, acting as if I was staring at the morning traffic as I wiped my tears. There was a man a couple of chairs down from me. I couldn't see him but I was hoping he wasn't thinking I was a complete basket case of a woman who cries in public while waiting for an oil change.  Who does that? Me.  I don't know if it was the lack of sleep coupled with the story that hit too close to home, but it happened.  And I'm over it now.  Until the next time I end up crying in public.  Oh gosh, just please not anytime soon.  Or not ever would be better. 

Being Stubborn For the Sake of my Son

In March of this year I was researching online specific behavior of one of my twins, Coby.  After five kids I was pretty used to regular toddler behavior.  But Coby, at 2 years, was not talking yet, and had very odd habits, and major tantrums.  After reading over several blogs, over a dozen articles online, and watching a bunch of youtube videos I decided I needed to get Coby to a specialist.  An Autism specialists.  I did even more research on how I could get him evaluated, and found a research group that would do it.  The Child Psychologist given to me by my insurance wouldn't even see him until he was either over three or after five years old.


On May 1st, my daughter's 7th birthday, we took Coby in for the 4 hour process of the Dr. observing him, playing with him, blood work, and different tests.  The Dr. said he definitely had a delay.  A "Global Developmental Delay" was what she called it.  Heck if I knew what that meant then, or even still understand what that means now.  So I thought okay good, she didn't say definitively that he was Autistic.  However, she added to her initial diagnosis, "with a risk of Autism" because of Coby's mannerisms that were stereotypical Autistic habits.


So Coby's information was passed on to another agency which brought in another Dr. to observe him in a home setting.  A two hour session of the doctor observing Coby and trying to get him to interact with her.   But the overwhelming feelings I felt from being thrown into this world of Psychologists, social workers, evaluations, insurance calls, therapies for Coby, training classes for us, and people coming into my home every weekday for two hours a day was just too much.  I held it together for as long as I could, but I just totally fell apart later that day.  I was in the grocery store and got a text from my husband to "Have a good practice! I love you", and the tears just came.  Right there while standing next to the diapers.  Inside I'm trying to force myself to stop crying, but I had hit my limit.  I couldn't hold it together anymore.  So I called my husband and he calmed me down.  He grew up with a sister with down syndrome so he assured me that we were going to be okay.  I was just overwhelmed with all the information being thrown at me at once.  But I was on my way to volleyball practice so it was a chance for me to exert some energy into something else besides stressing out. 


But the distraction only lasts as long as the practice.  As soon as I am home I see Coby but I realize even through my little meltdown because of how things are going to change so much for us, one thing never once changed.  How much I love my son.  If it is at all possible I loved him even more.  I never once said I wish my son were normal.  I was just relieved that we finally knew what could be going on with him.  I know that Coby doesn't enjoy the doctors making him focus on specific tasks, but it is for his own good.  


My family has this last week to enjoy our present normalcy before we have to altar everything around Coby and his therapy sessions and our parent training.  On top of jobs, the other four kids, house cleaning/cooking, exercise, and trying to get sleep, it's going to be hard.  Statistics I've read say that couples that have a special needs child increases chance of divorce and health problems connected to high stress levels.  I'm sure that happens, but I refuse to believe it for us.  What's the saying?  God never gives you anything you can't handle.  I think that's why He made me so stubborn.  If anyone tells me I can't do anything then I'll try my darnedest to prove them wrong.  Even if "them" is just a stupid statistic.   


"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" - Philippians 4:13


P.S. All prayers will be gladly appreciated.  God Bless! 


<3 Reenie 

I Break for Food!

It's been a month since the last time I posted something up.  I was going to post about my cooking adventure, but was too busy cooking. So here are some of my recipes I remembered to take pictures of.

I love love loved this carrot cake recipe.  Just the right balance of carrot and nuts. But the best part of the recipe is the cream cheese frosting. I just kept "sampling" the frosting to make sure it tasted okay. ;) It's a bit time consuming getting the carrots shredded, but it was worth it. You have to try this carrot cake recipe!  Carrot Cake with Cream Cheese Frosting

Chicken and Spinach pasta bake.  I didn't care for the canned tomatoes in the recipe next time I'll use fresh tomatoes, but otherwise an easy recipe. chicken and spinach pasta bake

These crescent pockets are so easy and delicious.  My kids loved them and leftovers are easy to pack for my hubby's lunch. Chicken Crescent Pockets

My Julie&Julia kick... Tired of the same ole meals

I loved the idea to this movie. Although I love Stanley Tucci and Meryl Streep the movie itself was a little disappointing.  This is not a post about a movie review though so moving on.  


I've been on a new recipe cooking mood and it's been wonderful.  I absolutely love cooking.  Cooking has always been one of those things that can bring my spirits up when I'm having a bad day.  Even if I'm slaving in the hot kitchen, piling up dishes and pans I know I'm going to have to clean later, I still love it.  It's the one thing I know I'm good at.  If I have a recipe and I can get all the ingredients and the tools I need, I can cook it.  


So, now that I don't have volleyball taking up my evening hours I have more time to prep dinner instead of throwing the same old chicken in the oven.  I love trying new recipes, so I was thinking if I could do my own little Julie/Julia project.  Of course I can't do it every night like Julie did in the movie because I do still have five kids.  However, those five kids and the hubby have to eat, so if I'm going to be busy with something it might as well be something they can eat! 


Two nights ago I tried a new meatloaf recipe.  I was rushing through a little bit and didn't season it as well as I wanted. But the meatloaf is gone, so it must have been good.  I tried this recipe last night and it was a big hit!  Even my oldest son, who hates any kind of food if it's not sweet, from a cereal box, or ramen noodles, ate it.  He ate a small serving, but he ate it.  My sister and I broke out a little white wine to go with it, and it was divine! 


Eight Layer Spinach Casserole
Click on the link for the recipe.  

*Note* I used penne pasta instead of egg noodles, and ground turkey instead of ground beef.  
Today I'm making stuffed pork chops.  Got to get to cookin'! 

The Secret to Well Behaved Kids

"Don't be afraid to impose rules and structure, and don't try to be your kids' best friend. They can have lots of friends, but only have one mom and one dad."
— Rabbi Shmuley Boteach

People ask me all the time how do you get your kids to behave so well?  Like there is some big secret to being a parent that my husband and I are keeping to ourselves.  I hate to break it to people, but there is NO big secret to raising well behaved kids.  Just do what you know needs to be done.  Discipline your kids when they need it, talk to them about how they feel, teach them the value of work, teach them how to be respectful, and for goodness sake teach them some manners.  I don't understand why it's so hard for parents these days to BE parents. 

From now on when parents ask me how do I get my kids so well behaved, I'll ask one question.  "Are you best friends with your kids?"  If they say "Oh yes totally".  Then I'll say, "WRONG!  If your kids at one time in their lives don't hate you or want to run away, or think their lives are unfair because of you, then you are not being a parent.  You are being their friend.  And last time I checked I don't give a crap what my friends tell me to do, I'll do whatever the hell I want!"

Being a parent isn't easy.  It's the hardest thing in the world to know that what you do and how you shape these little people is the difference between whether they are "normal" and well adjusted OR just plain screwed up in the future.  Even with well behaved kids, I still wonder if they are not screwed up in some way or another.  Who knows we will just have to see.  I'll never stop trying though.  Not ever! 

Confessions of a Pisces

I believe this quote to be true.  Although this could apply to mothers in general, being a Pisces mother can magnify this fact ten times more.  Sometimes I don't realize I'm doing it.  I love helping people, and most of the time I don't think it's going to be that hard.  But sometimes, I get in over my head and then I just end up working myself into physical and emotional exhaustion.  And I know that I can spread myself thin sometimes, but my cousin made me realize how much I do put other people's desires higher than my own.  

It wasn't a serious talk or some deep discussion we were having.  I was telling my cousin about my Dad asking me to help them out with some dances for a dinner dance/luau they were going to have at their church.  My dancing days are so over it's not even funny.  And my initial answer was no of course.  But me being me, I think I can do anything.  I could do some research, make up some choreography for a hula, and something else, and then I could skype or video chat with my sister and teach her the dance so I didn't have to drive over an hour.  Yada yada yada, my brain keeps trying to figure out ways to help out my Dad. As I'm telling this to my cousin she just says, "But you are too busy with five kids".  That's it.  That's all she said.  Not only once, but twice. After I mentioned something else about maybe getting a part time job.  That's all she said.  So simple for her to just say it.  But how is it that it doesn't just click in my head that way.  Knock, knock, hello there you...yea you who is trying to do too much.  STOP IT!

I don't really know if I can.  It's become habit I guess.  If I'm not helping somebody with something I kind of feel like a slacker.  Which is why I volunteered to help with my kids and their annual Variety Show at their school.  Turns out I was THE ONLY parent that sent in the paper to volunteer.  I don't know if that's a sign for me to stop with the extra work on top of my number one job, but I'm still going to help out.  I've already told my kids I was going to help.  And it will probably be the last thing for a while.  Oh wait I volunteered with my daughters dance group too.  Okay after that.  That one will be the last time.  

Well we will see how well that goes.  Wish me luck!