This is My Happy Place

Aahh, this is my happy place.  Reading Blogs that I love, fresh coffee in the mug, and even a homemade oatmeal cookie.  I miss this.  

I'm a complex person.  I have more than just one side to me.  I love being a mother and a homemaker.  But the athlete in me needs some time to play too.  No, I'm not actually playing volleyball anymore, but I coach.  So I've been off the Blog for months now.  My season is over, so I get time to do the little things.  Bust mostly I've missed baking, blogging, and reading.  I've been doing a lot of reading, just not any of the hoards of books I have stacked up in my bookcase and my closet.  I appreciate these little things much more when I haven't had the time or energy to do them.  

But I won't have the time for long.  I'm coaching another season this coming January.  I was a bit scared to take on boys team, and to take on another season of busy-ness in my home.  Especially after dropping the ball with some of the things I was suppose to remember to do for my kids. That was a low point for me.  My kids are first and foremost my priority.  So when I forgot to sign my kids up for free tutoring because I missed the deadline. I then proceeded to sit in my car and cry.  

The day before I had just been offered a coaching position and I was on cloud nine.  But I dropped down pretty quick when I realized I am slacking off in the Mommy department.  I even contemplated NOT taking the job at all.  I was making all kinds of excuses to stay home and do the easy thing.  Just be a stay at home mom.  But, I realized it was my fear talking.  And a little bit of laziness too.  This coming season will require a lot more out of me.  Better organization in the dinner department, homework with the kids, and house cleaning duties.  Not to mention potty training the twins.  And none of this includes the time I have to put in for volleyball.  Planning practice, actual practice, and admin duties.  This scares me.  I'm not the type of person who likes being busy.  I'm naturally chill and laid back, so this scares me.  

But...

My two older kids love me coaching.  They come to my practices and games and they love it.  They meet my team and they love it.  They hit the balls over the net and they have a ball.  They watch me coach and just smile.  

I'm scared.  I don't want to be this busy Mom that drops the ball on her kids.  But I also love it when my daughter sees me doing something that I love.  I want my son to see me speaking in front of groups of people and know that someday he can do the same without being so nervous.  I want them to hear me yelling at my team "Don't give up!" and know that I don't just say these things to them.  But mostly I want them to be proud of me.  

The thing is, at this age, my kids are always proud of me.  So, I'll enjoy it while it lasts.  Teenage years have not invaded my home yet.  Wish me luck, and as always prayers are always appreciated. 

Best Efforts

I tell this to my kids all the time...

If you are going to do something, ALWAYS and ONLY give it your BEST effort.
Actually I tell my Volleyball players the same thing.  If you are going to show up, you better show up and give me 100%.

I'm a Coach, so it is not in me to say I don't mind losing.  Because I absolutely hate it!  But if it's one thing I hate more than losing, is losing because we didn't give our best effort.  I believe that if my players play to the best of their abilities and then some, and still lose, then we lost to the better team.  No shame in that at all.  

Every time the Olympics come around I am reminded why I love sports.  Not so much by the big Goliath champion gold medal winners, but by the little unknown countries who SHOW UP and give it their best for their countries. 

Like Maureen Tuimalealiifano of Team Samoa.  She competed in the individual Women's Archery event in London.  After the preliminary ranking round Maureen was ranked #63 out of 64.  Which meant that her first opponent would be in the higher ranking countries.  And who does she get? The archer from South Korea who is ranked #2.  But #1 ranking was also from South Korea.  The same South Korean team of archers that won the Gold medal just a couple of days before.   (And every year before that since the event was introduced into the summer Olympics)  

Even though she was defeated I respect her so much for just showing up and giving an olympic effort for our little island nation.  I am also immensely proud of how she carried herself and how she just always looked so happy and honored to be at the Games. 

Check her out channeling her inner Katniss Everdeen. ;) 

Thank You Team Samoa Facebook page for providing pictures of this event! 

And what about Eric Moussambani dubbed "Eric the Eel" of the 2000 Sydney Olympics.  Representing Equitorial Guinea in a swimming heat of only 3 swimmers.  The other two swimmers were disqualified due to false starts, so Eric is left to complete the heat alone.  Just him.  Eight lanes and he was the only swimmer in the pool.  He struggled to finish since he had never before seen an Olympic sized pool before that day, and he had just learned some techniques from the American swim team just two days before.  But he showed up and he finished. In the record books he is listed as the winner of his first and only Olympic swim race.  

original story from cnn 

 In 1992, while watching the Barcelona Olympic track races, 

I distinctly remember bawling my eyes out when I was watching this race live on television.  Derek Redmond of Great Britain tore his hamstring before he could finish his 400 meter race.  I can't imagine the feelings he was going through, but he got up and started hopping his way towards the finish line.  And then his father comes from the stands and helps his son in his emotional finish of the race that had already ended.  This moment in the Olympics was used by the Olympic Committee and Visa as an example of the Olympic spirit, and for Nike in their series of Courage ads.   

My sister asked me who won the gold in the last Olympics for Women's Volleyball. I couldn't even tell her.  In the end I remember the little people and their stories.  I remember the losers and their Olympic spirit.  Hopefully my kids understand what I mean one day.  "Oh that's why Mom always told us to always do our best."  Because nothing of quality ever comes from giving a half ass effort. 

Just break up with him!

I've been coaching girls volleyball again for a couple of months now.  My girls have all graduated high school  and their ages range from 17 - 21years old.  Can you say "raging hormones".  Well, the other night one of my girls called in that she wouldn't make it into practice because her boyfriend was in town.  Ugh, so annoying.  This is why I am a firm believer in "boyfriends and Volleyball DO NOT mix!"  They just don't.  Boys always find a way to mess with your head right when you need to be focused on a game.

In my case, it happened to be a Volleyball tournament.  It was my first year in college. Wolfy and I had been going through the longest stretch of not seeing each other.  I was living, breathing volleyball and being around girls all day, everyday, had me craving Wolfy, even if it was just to hear his voice. The night before a big volleyball tournament, we had gotten into an argument and we broke up.  Honestly, I can't even remember what the argument was about.  I just remember that I was distraught.


Really quick background info on me.  I'm a ball of emotions.  I'm a Pisces, and I'm ruled by my emotions.  To make it worse, my mother is the same overly sensitive woman, and her mother was the same way too.  So I am totally screwed when I need to do something while trying to hold in my emotions. To this day, I am no good at it.  My sisters always tease me that I cry at Hallmark commercials, Kodak commercials,  ANY commercials. Anyway, thus the title of my blog, "My Emotional Roller-coaster".


So, the love of my life just broke up with me, and I had to wake up and play volleyball....yipee! Actually NOT!  My roommates heard what had happened and they were trying to comfort me all day, but nothing was working.  I tried to shake myself out of the funk.  "Snap out of it! Volleyball right now, cry later! Come on!"  Yea, that didn't work.  It was the first time I actually realized that athletes really are affected by the things going on in their personal lives.  Why? What did my emotions have to do with controlling my body to perform the skills to play?  Nothing really I guess.  It was my brain taking on too much, and keeping my body from reacting in it's usual manner.  Needless to say, I was a mess.  My coach realized there was something wrong with me and pulled me aside, away from the rest of the team.  Just the fact that she suspected something, had me on edge.  And all she had to do was ask "What's going on with you?", and I lost it!  I started bawling like she had just slapped me across the face.  My coach was not going to get a word out of me in my state.  So she left me alone, but not before throwing me a look of disgust.  Hey, I was disgusted with myself.  I thought I was stronger than that.  But the hurt was like a punch in the gut reminding me that I'm not the super strong girl I liked to think I was.


Finally, the tournament was over, and we all headed home.  I just collapsed into my bed and wanted to cry myself to sleep.  One of my roommates was checking our voice mail messages on our house phone.  I heard her yell for me.


"Reenie!"


Ugh, what now. Leave me alone!  But she came into my room with a look of shock and happiness at the same time.


She said, "He called. He left a voice mail. You have to listen to it!"


"Huh? Who called? Wolfy called?"


She shoved the phone in my face,"Yes, listen!"


It was Wolfy.  After the day I had, just to hear his voice melted away all my stress.  That wasn't all.  He called and apologized.  I couldn't believe it.  He knew that any one of my 5 roommates checked our voice mail messages and he still left me such a personal message.  I held the phone to my ear and collapsed back into my pillow with a smile as tears flowed over onto my cheeks.  I listened to it over and over again.  Wolfy said he made a mistake, and that he was sorry, and that he loved me.


And just like that my world was right again.


Anyway, so when I started coaching girls again, I asked how many of them had boyfriends.  Before any of them even answered I said, "Just break up with him."  They all laughed, but I was a little serious.  There is nothing worse than coaching boy-crazy girls and trying to get them to focus.  Just from my own experience, there is nothing any other person can do to relieve emotions connected to boyfriend drama.  So my advice would be to be single. At least until the season is done. LOL!  (I didn't say it was going to be earth shattering, change your life advice.) hahaha!