Confessions of a Cry Baby

I should change my Blog title to "Diary of a Cry Baby".  Geez I'm so darn emotional lately it's sickening even to myself.  Okay let me see, last month I cried in a grocery store.  That was a new one for me.  Fast forward to today I cried in the waiting room of car repair shop.  There are no boundaries to my tears.  Ugh, I hate that I can't control it.  I have literally, for as long as I can remember, tried and tried again to control my emotions so that I'm not tearing up at every little sob story, elderly couple, or sad movie.  But I just can't.  I CAN'T!  Okay so I sound like a weirdo with the whole crying at the auto repair shop.  So here is what happened.

I woke up early to get to the auto repair shop so that I wouldn't have to wait too long for a simple oil change.  But I stayed up too late, as usual, and had to drag myself out of bed.  I got to the shop a little later than I wanted, and ended up having to wait for customers who arrived before me.  I didn't mind though because I packed my book to read just in case.  

The book, The Rescue, by Nicholas Sparks.  Strange how I started reading this book.  My son Coby, who has language delay and is technically diagnosed as "at risk for Autism", likes to mess up my books on my book shelf.  One day after Coby had thrown down all my books from my shelf I picked up the book, The Rescue, and started to read.  And what is the story about?  A Mother and her son with language delays, like my son.  Right away, I was pulled in just from her experiences with trying to find a diagnosis for her son and why he wasn't talking.  So anyway, I felt like I was meant to read this story.  

So after a sleep deprived night, I'm waiting at the auto repair shop, reading my book.  The beginning of the book starts out with the Mother getting in to a car crash, and her son wanders away from the scene of the crash.  Right away she is freaking out especially because she knows that she can call his name to high heaven, but he wouldn't answer back.  Long story short, small town heroes come to the rescue and search for hours for her son.  Finally one of the rescuers finds her son. And the boy who doesn't talk, looks at the man, and says "Hewwo"(hello).  He runs up to the man and wraps his arms around the man's neck.  The man so overcome by exhaustion and the joy of finding the boy, tears up as he held the little boy.  

And that did it.  A lost, special needs boy, found by a local hero, and says "Hewwo" like my son Coby says "Hewwo" and I was fighting back tears.  There were sounds of metal being cut, and tires being removed, and engines revving up coming from the garage. And there I was in the middle of all that crying.  I turned my head, acting as if I was staring at the morning traffic as I wiped my tears. There was a man a couple of chairs down from me. I couldn't see him but I was hoping he wasn't thinking I was a complete basket case of a woman who cries in public while waiting for an oil change.  Who does that? Me.  I don't know if it was the lack of sleep coupled with the story that hit too close to home, but it happened.  And I'm over it now.  Until the next time I end up crying in public.  Oh gosh, just please not anytime soon.  Or not ever would be better.