A Tale of Two Weddings...part 1

This past weekend was our 13th Wedding Anniversary.  Wolfy and I actually have two Wedding Anniversary dates.  


Our first wedding was in Las Vegas in March.  Yes we actually got married in Vegas.  But it wasn't suppose to be that way.  At least that's what I realized afterwards.  Everything that could have gone wrong, went wrong.  


My parents were not at my first wedding.  I was raised in a Catholic home by two very devout Catholic parents, and they wanted no part of a wedding in Las Vegas.  That was like my parents worst nightmare come true.  Their "good daughter" was on a downward spiral and they couldn't stop it.  Oh, but they tried. I almost canceled the wedding.  The week before my wedding my mom got my Auntie to call me.  She cried on the phone and pleaded with me to not go through with it.  I was suppose to get married in the church, with all my family around, and with my parents there.  But it was too late.  Arrangements had already been made and we couldn't just pull out or else Wolfy's parents would have lost money.  


So we headed to Vegas.  We didn't even get a chance to settle into our rooms because I had to go to a fitting for a dress with Wolfy's cousins.  Wolfy's cousins hated me though, so it was really awkward that they were forcing me to put her up there to stand next to me.  But I found the cutest dress and Wolfy's tuxedo and we headed back to the hotel.  


I was so happy when we got back and heard that my siblings had arrived.  My siblings all wanted to be there but they had to rent a car.  None of them at the time had credit cards so they had trouble finding a car.  So they had to resort to a shady little car dealership that rented out some of their cars.  My poor sister was driving the 5 hour drive and was praying the whole time that the car wouldn't break down in the middle of nowhere.  But they finally made it safe and settled into their room.  Only to be kicked out by the hotel staff saying that there was a mistake and that their room had been overbooked.  My mother in law was not having it and gave the front desk an earful.  She had them calling out all the managers, and taking down emails of CEO's.  She was on a mission and finally they were able to get them another room. 


Wolfy still hadn't arrived so I was on the verge of a breakdown.  He was flying in from Chicago straight out of Navy schooling so I hadn't seen him in three months. When he finally arrived I was in his arms again and it was just the best feeling ever.  But then we find out one of his bags were lost.  Of course the bag with his Navy uniforms.  We couldn't really do anything but wait to see if they found it.  We went back to our room and tried to get some sleep through all the problems, and nerves, and excitement.  


When I finally woke I rushed out of bed to start my preparations.  With all that was going on I forgot one lovely detail to my wedded bliss.  It was my time of the month.  Boo...I hate you mother nature!  Of all the days? Come on!  What a boring honeymoon we were going to have.  Right when I was about to start crying, Wolfy calls me from the room.  I came out the bathroom and he was almost done putting on his tuxedo.  He looked so handsome I was smiling from ear to ear.  Then I saw his face, and was wondering, oh my gosh, what now?  I was so busy with trying to find a dress that I didn't double check Wolfy's tuxedo before we left.  His mom decided to pick out a red bow tie for him to wear.  He was mortified.  Only because he is pretty particular with the things he wears, and it sure wasn't going to be a red bow tie.  The morning of our wedding and he did not want to wear his tuxedo.  It was too late to call the tuxedo rental place and he didn't have any of his Navy uniforms either.  So he put on the dreaded bow tie and we headed to the chapel.


The Candlelight Wedding Chapel was a very cute little chapel.  And I'm not lying when I say it was little.  My walk down the aisle probably took only 8 steps, but I took little steps to stretch it out a little longer.  And the "preacher" was so weird.  His voice and the way he spoke with such a slow tempo of loud and soft made me think of going up and down little hills on a long road.  It  was not helping me take the wedding seriously.  So we stood there, Wolfy wanting to rip off his stupid bow tie, while I'm trying not to bust out laughing.  I was actually relieved that the ceremony was nice and short.  


The majority of the wedding guests waited outside while we set up to take some pictures in the chapel.  My older brother finally made it over to us to congratulate us.  But as soon as he hugged me I started bawling!  Not the cute little sentimental cry, but the loud, "I want my Mommy and Daddy" cry that I couldn't hold back anymore.  My brother tried to shush me but my in laws and Wolfy's cousins were all starring at me. What's the best thing to do before you take your wedding photos?  Yea full on cry your eyes out.  Ugh, it was so hard for me to finally stop crying, and then try to get the already swollen and red out of my eyes. I just had to suck it up and take the stupid pictures.  


That's when it came to me.  It wasn't suppose to be this way.  I'm not suppose to be getting married without my parents!  That's just not how it's suppose to be.  And the "universe" was trying to tell me that.    Everything that was going wrong was for a reason.  But it was too late.  I was immensely grateful to my in laws for taking on the expense of our little wedding, but in my heart I knew that Wolfy and I had gone at it the wrong way.  


Since then I always think back to our little Las Vegas wedding as a reminder to be aware of the things that I'm trying to force.  That I need to check my self when I want something so bad, but things just aren't working out.   I stop and think about the what I want, and what I need, and pray.  I've kept myself from making a lot of bad decisions this way.  


So, anyway why was our anniversary this past weekend in January when our Las Vegas wedding was in March?  Well our second wedding was in January.  Two years after our first wedding, we had our vows blessed in a church wedding...and it was PERFECT! 


But this blog is long enough...second wedding details coming soon. =) 

Long distance relationships suck!

How to survive a long distance relationship? Hmmm... DON'T HAVE ONE!  Seriously.  Take it from me, it is horrible.  Wolfy and I were dating five years before we got married and I'd say 90% of those five years were spent apart.  The only thing long distance did was reek havoc on my emotions, sanity, and my body.  I don't know how Wolfy and I did it for so long.  I'm so glad we made it through those times, but we had it hard back then.  We didn't have emails.  We wrote good ole fashion hand written letters and sent them through snail mail.  We didn't have cell phones.  I rushed home everyday to make sure I didn't miss his calls, so basically I was stuck at home.  We didn't have Skype or Facebook.  I literally didn't see his face for months at a time.  For five long years this was us, and it sucked!

In high school, even when we were in the same city, we hardly got to see each other.  Samoan parents don't allow dating. My parents never allowed me to go out with friends, let alone a boyfriend. There was no way I was going to ask to go on a "date". Ha! Yea right!

My first year away to college was very hard on us.  I think we broke up and got back together at least twice that year.  But I was able to go home for holidays.  And each time it was so awkward being in each other's presence again.

One night in particular I remember.  Wolfy and I planned to get together and hang out and talk.  Nothing big we were just going to drive to the beach. I just wanted to see him after being away for so long. Wolfy picked me up and we drove to our beach lookout spot.  The moon was out and lit up the ocean water so beautifully like a thousand romantic candles guiding a pathway to the sky.  We sat on a bench and looked out to the beautiful view.  You would think with such a romantic setting Wolfy and I would have been all over each other. Except we weren't.  It was awkward.  Here we were, two people who were madly in love, and we just sat there, quiet for what felt like hours.  I tried making small talk, but it felt stupid like I was trying to make conversation with a random stranger.  Ugh, I hated that feeling.  That awkward feeling of forgetting how to actually BE together after being apart for months.  But that was after our first year of being long distance.  Sadly I just got used to being away from him.  And after lots of practice, seeing him after months apart wasn't as awkward as that first year away.  

But then it was replaced by horrible goodbyes.  I hated leaving Wolfy.  I would literally get sick every time I had to leave him.  One time in particular was the worst ever that I can remember.  Wolfy's mother and I had flown to see him graduate from Navy bootcamp.  I hadn't seen him or talked to him in 3 months.  In bootcamp he could only write letters to me.  And they didn't get much free time to write so his letters were always very short.  Being there with his mother was bittersweet because Wolfy didn't like being too affectionate in front of his Mom.  But I was just so happy to know that he was safe, and healthy, even if he was a little too skinny.  We got to spend a day and half with him and then we had to fly back home.  The drive to the airport was the loneliest drive ever even though Wolfy's mom was with me in the car.  But I was holding up pretty well I even surprised myself.  

That was until we got to our terminal.  We were early so we just sat there and waited.  It had given me too much time to think about Wolfy and how much I was missing him already.  Slowly the tears started to well up.  Then they flowed like a river.  Then the pain in my chest starts pounding so hard I could feel it in my ears with every heart beat.  I didn't want Wolfy's mom to see me so pathetic so I just laid my head down like I was napping, and tried my best to mask my sobbing.  Wolfy's mom finally noticed I was crying and put her hand on my back to try and comfort me.  It only brought on an even worse wave of pain.  I was a mess.  Even worse I made Wolfy's mom cry too.  The two of us looked like basket cases just sitting there crying.  I didn't care.  I just wanted to be with Wolfy, but I couldn't, so I was going to cry myself into a stupor.  When we were finally on the plane I welcomed the chance to cry myself to sleep.  The comfort of not having to be awake and thinking of him was all I wanted.   

The pain of that day is what made me wake up to the fact that I just couldn't do it any longer.  I was tired of being away from Wolfy.  I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, but after that day, I decided to actually do something about it.  I can't remember exactly how long, but I think it was 6 months later we were married.  =)  And I guess the rest is history.  

Wolfy and I have been married 12 years now and I spend so much time with him that sometimes if I ask to go away for the weekend Wolfy's "sure go ahead" comes out before I can even finish asking. lol  Never in my wildest dreams, when I was sitting in that airport, did I think I would ever get to a point that Wolfy and I didn't mind being away from each other for a weekend.  But that's life.  If you don't push through the bad times...you'll never get to see the good times.  The BEST times.